Out of Service

For those of you who love me and check in to see how my crazy, chaotic life is running you may have noticed I haven't been around.

Well, in a nut shell I am living a nightmare germ-a-palooza.

Here is the break down:

Ayla: pneumonia- drug resistant strain not getting better, but well enough to fight with sister.

Hayden: RSV, ear infection & nastiest cough you have ever heard, but well enough to bother sister.

Dilann: pneumonia & brand new ear infection. I though she was actually almost better until the doctor told me her lungs sounded worse. (little sneaky-sneak)

Stanford: getting over flu

Me: flu. This is the first day without crazy fever and all the lovely things that accompany it.

 I know I'm over doing my "feeling better" by disinfecting everything I can think of, but seriously I can feel the germs in the air.

So I'm not going to be around for a while because I have to get everyone well so I can go to Ithaca next week.

I'll be really pissed if I don't get to go and eat brie stuffed french toast at the Carriage House.

I haven't had time or energy to do anything much less call anyone- so this is my letting you know.

Yes, mom & pops, I'm talking to you.

And for my Cornell friends- I'll be thinking of you while eating my brie stuffed french toast.

If I get to go.

because I'll be mad if I can't.

 Really.

did I say that already?

And the new year begins

Like many crazy people I tell myself "It's a new year and I'm going to/not going to xyz!" I get sooo excited planning, scheming, and plotting in my over-tired and under stimulated brain that I actually keep myself up some nights. Well folks, its January 19th and - drum roll please...

I have yet to get much done!!!! 

Yipee, I'm doing the same s*@t in a different year. 

Really?

Hhmmm...

• Okay, so I haven't made it to the gym everyday, but I have gone AND I've done some pathetically little exercises at home.
• I HAVE kept dishes out of the sink for 2 1/2 days which for me is amazing.
• My laundry is still kinda piling up, but it's not Mt. Fuji like is has been in the past. It's only a Mt. Charleston.
• I now have the ball rolling on finishing my training to be a teacher trainer in Pilates. Holy cow I am so excited!!! This is the program and I love it. The woman who created this teacher training program own this studio that I used to work at and they are the bomb. They are smart, strong, and know their bees wax. I am traveling up to Ithaca in February without kids!!!!! (insert happy dance here) Can anyone say "Carriage House"?!?
• Thanks to my mom I am able to read more which is a passion of mine. She gave me a kindle for Christmas and peace has settled over my soul now that I have the ability to zone out when necessary.
• Finally, I am embracing the organization bug that has bitten me. I got a lot done on Ayla's closet yesterday and plan on moving onto the laundry room today. I'm not a pack rat by nature, but it still amazes me how much stuff 5 people can collect. Kinda like to piles of laundry it's oddly impressive.
• The baby toddler (destroying the playroom right now and making such a ruckus that it's impressive) is weaned! That's 1 habit broken so that after the in-laws visit in a few weeks I can work on getting her out of my bed. And then sleep might actually be mine. We used to be great friends you know, but lately, not so much.

It seems the quote of 2011 is:

"The true definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different outcome. "

I get it.

 The simple clarity of this wise statement is exactly what I need to embrace right now.

I control my life

I control my destiny

I control my happiness

and what"s for dinner.

There are many things that I am in this world. A mother. A wife. A friend. A teacher. A wanderer. A free spirit. A creative soul.
And there are many things I am not. A morning person. Cruel. An extrovert. Neat. A type-A personality.

I embrace all of these qualities good and bad. I know my short comings and accept them as much as I can. If I had been born in time to come of age in the 60's, Im sure I would haven been a hippie. I like to think of myself as "Bohemian". I'm not lazy, but free flowing with the times.

While I might lack the full throttle motivation to follow every whim and fancy that crosses my mind; I do like to chew the thoughts that stick around. I like persistence and being a person guided by impulse, I don't take an idea lightly that has the gonads to stick around.

For those who know me, they know I have been talking about opening my own Pilates studio forever. But my one constant was that I wanted to wait until my kids started school. I didn't want to miss these early years. To my credit, I still want the studio. Badly. I miss the interaction with clients. I miss the self discovery on my clients part. I miss teaching. I know my time will come and that it will be here almost too soon. So, I've been chewing on other ideas in the mean time. Like I said, I'm a creative soul. I love to make things from stories to soaps. I even have candle making equipment. But my love is the bath. I am a bath person. I could stay in one all day if the kids would let me. I have been making my own bath blends for years from essential oils and salts. Well, lately I have wanted to make my goodies to sell. This idea excites me. I know I'm good at it (I think) and I have a few bath loving ginny pigs to try my stuff out on. I think I want to start with my solid oils. They are wonderful in the tub, but can also be used as a lotion, lip balm, and conditioner. The beauty is I have all of the ingredients so now all I need are the containers.

And a bath tub to try them myself.

My house is slowly returning to normal. My parents have returned home and while we miss them, it's nice to be alone again. There is so much that I want to do around the house right now that my brain is going crazy. I just need my body to catch up.
The top of my list is to give the house a good hard steam cleaning. My mom was here for 3 weeks and sadly, she was sick about 2 of those weeks. I'm not talking a little cold type sick, but can't get out of bed sick. While I felt bad for her and the fact that she shared her germs, I feel the house needs a good scrub to kill anything that's left. (Sorry mom, I love you, but not your germs)

Because of the afore mentioned germ sharing I was not able to use this time to focus on my personal workout & fitness goals. I really was gung-ho to hit the gym several times a week and get ride of the last baby weight. I figure since Dilann is now 2 it's about time. I have visions of a 2 piece bikini on a mexican beach for my 10 year anniversary. I figure it's the least I can do for me and hubby after years of my cute  waddling baby body.

I also have to finally admit it's time for a change. I have to stop nursing Dilann and get her into her own bed. Now before your freak out and say "your nursing a 2 years old?!?" I usually only nurse her once at night. It's  not like I'm walking around with a baby hanging off me all day. The getting her out of our bed is the big issue.
Come gather around and hear my tale..
      Once upon a time when we lived in a much larger house in Las Vegas, and Dilann was the best baby sleeper in the land. She told mommy when she was tired and went to sleep without and fuss or fight. Plus she slept soundly through the night. Then one day our family moved, first in with the grandparents who insisted on holding her ALL THE TIME and letting her sleep in their bed instead of her crib. After that transition little miss Dilann thought "I could get use to this grown-up snuggling thing." Before long we were on an airplane and living in a hotel on the other side of the country. Forget about separate rooms, the girls didn't even have separate beds. You see, the big bad tenants refused to move out of the house we signed a lease on and our little family had to live in a hotel for 6 weeks. That's 6 weeks of sleepless nights and climbing into mommy and daddy's bed. 6 weeks of what can I do to get some sleep (on mommy and daddy's end). And thus the habit was formed. My once independent angel of sleep is now a bed hog who refuses to leave. Depending on the day and time I might find that endearing or a pain in my a*#.
If I just had a private room to stick her in, it might not be that bad. But miss Dilann has to share with sister. And let me tell ya... this sister likes to talk and play and avoid bedtimes too.
*sigh*
is it time for mexico yet?